The Hot Mess Mom

By now you’ve probably watched the Buzzfeed video of the different types of moms.

When I saw the video for the first time, as each mom was introduced, I thought to myself, “Nope! That’s not me.”

I’m not the parenting expert. I am, at best, very average.
I’m not the PTA mom. I had to give my son’s basketball coach cash because I volunteered to bring snacks exactly zero times. Not because I didn’t want to. But because I couldn’t remember to sign up.
I am not the crunchy mom. That much is obvious.
I am not the hipster mom. I like Starbucks a little too much and the farmers market not quite enough.

Feeling slighted that the parenting experts over at Buzzfeed forgot about me, I thought the video was over…until the hot mess mom came on the scene.

There I am.

I meet a group of friends one night each month for dinner, and I kid you not that I show up like that every time. I always have a story. I am always breathing heavy. And sweating.

Days before the Buzzfeed video was released, I wrote a Facebook status update about the inability to differentiate between chocolate and poop in my home.

There is no question that I am the hot mess mom. At one point in my parenting career, I was actually pretty decent and put together. My kid (yes, that is singular) went to bed at a decent time and wore matching clothes. I kept a clean home. And…I promise this is true…people complimented me on how well I parented.

Time would prove that it wasn’t so much my stellar parenting as it was my child’s easy demeanor that amazed strangers, but for a good (albeit short) run, I was impressive.

Unfortunately, me, as a put together mom, died with my metabolism.
Because I haven’t eaten cookies without consequence or impressed anyone with my parenting in years.

The only compliment I receive these days is a painful, “You must have a lot of patience.”

Which isn’t so much of a compliment as a kind way to say, “Whoa! Your kids are wild.”

But when you’re a hot mess mom, you take compliments wherever you can get them.

For those of you who are one of the first four moms, I imagine you feel quite sorry for us hot mess moms.

Sure, our kids haven’t eaten a green vegetable since February, and our husbands are probably wondering if we will ever change out of our yoga pants…but rest assured, there are some major benefits to our undignified ways.

  1. People expect nothing from me. I am not the person people count on. The world doesn’t fall apart if I forget my role. Because my assigned role was likely to bring napkins to the party. And the PTA has a whole cabinet full of them. I am never trusted with actual responsibilities (raising four humans, notwithstanding), so I can never let people down. No one is impressed by me, but no one is disappointed in me, either. This very vanilla existence balances out the chaos of my daily life.
  2.  In the unlikely event I come through with some amazing homemade cinnamon rolls or baked from scratch cupcakes (I am an all or nothing sort of girl), I am a hero. Compliments for days. Because not only are my cinnamon rolls delicious (double the icing), but nothing impresses others more than a hot mess mom coming correct.
  3. Yoga pants are super comfy, and I am most comfortable with my hair in a bun…but when date night rolls around, and I break out the flat iron and fitted jeans, my husband is like WHOA. Sure, I could look cute on the daily, but I would never want my man to take me for granted. Living in a “relaxed state” ensures that my date night apparel makes me look hotter than I actually am. It’s like a real life Instagram filter. (I know this makes no sense…just roll with it!)
  4.  I am a hot mess mom, sure. But I am also a really fun mom. I give my kids full artistic license in our home. Which makes most moms cringe. I don’t {usually} freak out when we are a few minutes late because my kids’ pace is slower than mine. Their attire is…special. And I couldn’t care less. People stopped being impressed with me about the time I stopped caring what they thought of me. Being a hot mess mom is quite liberating. This is not to say other moms aren’t free and fun…because I know moms of every variety that are…it’s just the inborn trait of a hot mess mom.
  5. I make everyone around me feel really good about themselves. Successful moms and put together moms are awesome but can be intimidating…but everyone who hangs out with me leaves feeling like they’re winning at life. Because there’s a 95% chance that my kids or I did something so spectacularly awful that made those around me think, “At least I am not her.” I lead a very sacrificial life. You’re welcome.

Listen, it’s not like I am proud to be a hot mess mom. I would much prefer to be a mom that other women admire and are inspired by. I wish that I could remember things better. And that I would come through in the clutch. It would be nice to go to bed at night feeling like I won the day…rather than fall into bed, exhausted, feeling like I am constantly drowning in life’s demands.

But I am who I am. So much so that I had no trouble identifying myself on that hilarious Buzzfeed video. If I can’t be the mom I wish I could be, at least I can totally own the mom that I am.

Do tell: Which mom are you?? And what are your obvious characteristics of that mom??

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2 thoughts on “The Hot Mess Mom

  1. Sarah I normally read and don’t comment, but that video is great. I am Shane Kennard’s wife and we always laugh at your posts. With four boys I can relate so much to your stories. I have to say I swing back and forth from PTA mom to Hot Mess. Some times I have it all together and sometimes it is quite the opposite. Or maybe I am just fooling myself and I feel like the PTA mom on the inside, but others see the reality that is Hot Mess on the outside. 😊

    Like

  2. Late to the party, but what’s new? This mom is inspired by you and admires that for once, there is a “real mom blogging it like it is”!

    Like

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