You May Call Me A Dream(kill)er…

I am married to a dreamer. My husband is an entrepreneur and is constantly thinking up new business ideas.

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I am a person who can’t think past today. But I do have a strong sense of a bad idea.

For years, I’ve called myself as a dream killer. Because every idea my husband has, I have a thousand reasons why it won’t work. And he would agree that most of the time I am right.

I don’t kill every idea. We started our second small business just this week. And I’ve moved halfway across the country three separate times to pursue a new adventure.

I am open to adventure. I embrace chaos. And I love change.

But I don’t dream the wild dreams. I mostly {happily} follow the dreamer and kill every idea that’s stupid.

Hence, the dream killer.

I never really understood how my husband could be thinking of something three years from now when I could barely figure out how to make it until bedtime. He could never understand why I just know when something is not right for our family because he doesn’t consider the necessary steps to accomplishing his ideas.

Which is why the PeopleTek Leadership Journey I’ve written so much about has been revolutionary for me. (And I would highly recommend to anyone in a leadership position…in your workplace, family, church, etc.)

I’ve never considered the different roles my husband and I play in our family and business pursuits…until one of the classes addressed this specifically. Because I like to be mysterious, I don’t want to spoil everything I’ve learned (in case you go through the Journey).

But the conclusion is that I am not a dream killer after all. I am simply not a dreamer, but the role I do play matters. Knowing when to pursue a good idea and knowing when not to are actually just as important.

And instead of feeling like a jerk every time I tell my husband his idea sucks, I embrace my role. Over the years, he has learned to trust me. Because he knows he can’t see what I see. And I’ve learned to say yes when there’s no real reason to say no.

In marriage and in business, so much of the frustrations and disagreements come from two people (or more, in a workplace) having to work together but functioning so differently.

Whether or not you take the Leadership Journey I have taken (you’d be so smart to do so), I highly recommend learning about human behavior. We all do what we do for a reason, and horrible character flaws notwithstanding, who we are is just who we are. And you and I will be most successful in life when we allow people to be who they are. And fully embrace who we are.

I will probably never be a dreamer. But I’ve learned that when I said yes to marrying my husband, I said yes to a life so unpredictable and awesome that it’s probably a good thing that I don’t ever even consider making a five-year plan.

Because as many times as I’ve killed a dream, I am so thankful for the many dreams that have ended up shaping our lives in a way my practical self would have never allowed.

Does this resonate with you? Are you married to a dreamer? Are you, yourself, a dreamer? I would love to know!


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